Dear Samantha
by Evidence
Summary: A series of letters, written by Jack, tell the story


Title: Dear Samantha

Dear Samantha,

I'm not sure how to start this letter.  I have rewritten it probably five times.  I called you, left several voice mails but I think your machine's eating my messages for I haven't heard from you.  I'm worried, is everything okay?  Remember that I'm always here for you.  Danny got a promotion; he now has his own office with his own squad.  I thought Vivian was going to take it but her mom is ill and she needs time away from work.  Viv could use a call from you.  Martin has been doing some great work, I'm proud of him.  Eats constantly though!

Marie and I are in consoling.  We are trying to make it work but I don't know if this marriage is fixable.  I miss you.  The office is not the same without you there.  I understand why you felt you needed to leave; it was a great job opportunity and I know my decision to restart my marriage effected you greatly.  I never meant to hurt you.  Please know that I'm hurting too, Sam.

So how's work and life treating you?  Any big cases?  How is Chicago, as windy as they say?

Call me okay or at least send a letter.  I need to hear from you.

Love,

Jack

Five weeks later….

Dear Samantha,

I'm going to have to send you a new answering machine!  Is the postman not delivering either?  Sam, if you're mad at me I understand but this silent treatment is killing me.  I need to know how you are.  I asked Danny if he heard from you.  He said he hadn't but Danny has never been a good liar.  Vivian won't look me in the eyes anymore and Martin has grown quiet.  They know something.  Let me in on it.  Please.

I cannot fathom what is going on here.  If you're upset, yell at me.  If you're hurt, tell me so.  Stop running away.

Call me. Please.

Love, 

Jack

Four months later…

Dear Samantha,

Merry Christmas.  Although I'm sure you won't send me a card I had to send one to you.  Marie and I are on the outs.  Things are not working.  I tried my best to do the right thing but I feel so alone and desolate.  You were everything to me and I'm so sorry for letting you slip away.  I want you, Samantha, not Marie.  

I testified at Barry Mashburn's trial this week.  It looks like he'll get a light sentence.  I told him how I went back to Marie.  He told me my eyes looked like empty shells.  I'm empty without you.  I'm asking Marie for a divorce after Christmas.  Don't give up on me or us.  I'll be free soon and then we can be together.

I love you.

My love always,

Jack

Six months later…

Dear Samantha,

The divorce is final.  I'm a free man.  My daughters even will be spending weekends with me.  Marie let the marriage end without a fight.  She is already dating a lawyer.  Seems happy, good for her, I wish her the best.  Come home to New York.  Your job is still here, I'm here, so are your friends.  If that doesn't work, I'll come to Chicago.  I could be on a plane tonight.  Just give me your answer.  

I told you it was over but it's far from over for me.  Every night I dream of you, of being with you.  Your smile is reflected in the rear view mirror of my car, your scent is on my clothes, I turn a corner and there you are.  I made mistakes but this can all be rectified.  Please call me.  I know that you love me.  I've seen it in your eyes.  That's why you left because being in NYC without being with me was too painful for you.  I understand that.  I'm so sorry I hurt you.  Please, please come back to me.  You are my true love.

Love always,

Jack

Eight months later…

Dear Samantha,

Thank you for finally sending me a letter.  I don't know what to say.  I was shocked when I got it.  Danny, Vivian and Martin tried to cheer me up but to no avail.  I guess you have hurt me like I hurt you now.  Don't do this.  Not because of me but for yourself.  This will hurt you more in the long run.  Just try to think about that.  

Stop running away from your feelings.  You love me. You want to be with me and that scares the hell out of you.  You didn't leave just because you were hurt; you left because you were afraid.  You fell in love with me.  It will work out, Sam, just please come back to me.

I love you and am here waiting for you.  I won't give up on us.  I just can't.

Love,

Jack

The letter:

Dear Jack,

I'm sorry I haven't returned your messages.  I couldn't put my words and feelings together.  I had to share with you my news.  I'm getting married.  He owns his own music shop, a real great guy.  We will be happy.  He's good to me.  Take care of yourself, Jack.

Sincerely,

Samantha 


End file.
